I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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