You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
