I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize