Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize