Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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