listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
