a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
my being single is dangerous.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
