That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
