i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
why is half of my head shaved?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
