Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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