something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
