I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Couch. On fire.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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