chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My breasts were aching with rage.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
