my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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