No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
