"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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