It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
