I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
