Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
