Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
