that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
