Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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