I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
