my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
