So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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