i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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