Got a toothbrush?
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
