i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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