its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
