break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
