yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize