Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
