is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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