My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize