I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
