So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
