Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
