Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
