so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
there is puke in my bra ... again
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