I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
