Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
