Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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