peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
