My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
