I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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