i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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