So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
