STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
from now on my penis is your penis
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
