i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
