Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
