I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
