is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just want to make out with him forever
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
