my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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