so explain again why im purple
no
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
