I bet he comes in French.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
