I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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