You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
